107 Quotes by Will Advise

Nostalgia is the only acceptable form of sadness.

I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left.

Rain is the purest of natural happenings.

Why just order a pizza, when you can get a restraining order for the delivery guys, make them come to you, sue them, and get all the profit?

I'm an oracle of the past. I can accurately predict up to 1 minute in the future, by thoroughly investigating the last 2 years of your life. Also, I look like an old database – flat and full of useless info.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really.

#Cats are marvelous creatures - they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances adapt to them. Either way - they win.

I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off.