105 Quotes by Will Cuppy

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

He had also learned that there is no use murdering people; there are always so many left, and if you tried to murder them all you would never get anything else done.

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

A few alligators are naturally of the vicious type and inclined to resent it when you prod them with a stick. You can find out which ones these are by prodding them.

Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.

There are 2,500 kinds of sponges, all of them consist largely of holes.

Whales are silly once every two years. The young are called short-heads or baby blimps. Many whale romances begin in Baffin's bay and end in Procter and Gamble's factory, Staten Island.

As llamas have never heard of oxygen, they do not miss it.

Infant wart hogs resemble both sides of the family.