1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

Congressional investigations are for the benefit of photographers.

It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts.

It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered.

All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.

You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat.