561 Quotes by Zach Braff

I’m not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.

Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn’t say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn’t the one who got shot.

I don’t ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God’s way of rewarding me for Garden State.

If we’ve learned anything, it’s that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.

If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he’d have given them penises.

If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.

I wouldn’t call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn’t he?

I don’t think it’s that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.