561 Quotes by Zach Braff

It’s not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.

I had no interest in sports so I didn’t make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.

A child’s death is really of less value than an adult’s. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that’s not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.

When you win your first Grammy, it’s true, you really want to thank all the little people.

I’m pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I’ve never seen it. Have you? I didn’t think so.

If I wasn’t an actor? Hmm, I’d probably be a serial killer. I’m just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.

I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter ‘Good morning, handsome’ and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don’t break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.

There is one person I can think of better than me. And that’s Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

I just don’t see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?