561 Quotes by Zach Braff

I wouldn’t say I’m bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I’d say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.

I don’t think that other races are inferior, I just think that there’s something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, ‘Yeah, I’m glad I’m on that team.’

For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It’s not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?

It’s just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I’d make a pretty good saint.

I can’t watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where’s the substantive news? Where’s the Zach Braff coverage?

Yeah, I’ve banged some female costars. I swore I’d never tell their names, so instead I’ll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.

It’s just people trying to get on TV, not like it’s really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

I know the Bible isn’t real because it never once mentions me.