561 Quotes by Zach Braff

So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It’s like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn’t deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.

When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don’t have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?

I didn’t necessarily have a total idea when I was writing the movie of where everything was going. I just wanted to have really realistic dialogue and write like people I knew talked. I tried to keep it very real.

They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I’m above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.

I’m not gay, but I’m still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.

Some people just can’t handle that they will never be a better actor than me.

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.

Lots of people were giving me flak when I made the deal to do the very last season of Scrubs for $350,000 an episode. When really I’m the one that’s being cheated, because the writer’s strike is keeping me from all the money that I could be making. I need to eat, too.