204 Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything’s been done.

I don’t mean to be gross, but the only time it’s good to yell “I have diarrhea” is when you’re playing Scrabble because it’s worth a shitload of points.

I’ve always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

When a role seems fun it’s easy to play. It kind of comes organically.

I have to stop crying when I watch “The View”. It’s not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, “What the hell is this? This person’s happy!” You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It’s a tool for comedy.

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they’re not supposed to.

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It’ll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.