An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face.

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon.A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.

Mutha. F***ing. Shenanigans.

KANAYA: Karkat What Is He Doing HereKARKAT: WOW, GREAT QUESTION!KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A FUCKING NUMBER AND GET IN LINE FOR THAT ONE!!!KARKAT: I'VE ALREADY GOT MINE! IT'S THE FIRST NUMBER THERE IS. AN ANGRY, TREMBLING DIGIT, TOWERING AND ERECT, POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE TRASHFACED KINGPIN OF INEXPLICABLE HORSESHIT HIMSELF, *GOD*!!!!!

CG: I AM BEING PLEASANT AND AGREEABLE, AND I WILL GENTLY LOWER A MAGNIFICENT, CORUSCATING COLUMN OF HOT FUCK YOU DOWN THE PROTEIN CHUTE OF ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.