I threw an etiquette party and served nothing but beans and sparkling water. The topic of conversation was ‘excuse me’.

A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her.

I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.

Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Envy is for people who don’t have the self-esteem to be jealous.

I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.

Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Don’t bother introducing yourself.

Without humor, we’d all be what we’re laughing at. Without arrogance, we’d be humiliated to admit we already are.