Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me.""You don't know that.""Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.

But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls.

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.

Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.