233 Quotes by Cassandra Clare about humor


  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    Finally," Magnus said, grabbing a ten-dollar bill from a table near the door, and he buzzed the delivery man in. "I need some beef and broccoli before I face any more Mr. Darcy. It's a truth universally acknowledged that if you watch too much television on an empty stomach, your head falls off.""If your head fell off," Tessa said, "the hairdressing industry would go into an economic meltdown.

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  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    Well, since the alternative was going back and getting more of the Academy food,” said Magnus, “I think you owe me big. Possibly you owe me your firstborn. But don’t worry, I’m not in the market for anybody’s firstborn.

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  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    Could you unfreeze him now, please?" Magnus looked amused. "I was surprised when I got Sebastian's message this morning," he said, "Saying he was doing a favor for you, no less. How did you wind up meeting him?""He's a cousin of some friends of the Lightwoods or something. He's nice. I promise." "Nice, bah. He's gorgeous." Magnus gazed dreamily in his direction. "You should leave him here. I could hang hats on him and things.

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  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    I hope they're all right", Alec said quietly to Lily when Jem and Tessa went off to prepare for their midnight visit to the warlock's house."Of course Tessa's fine", said Lily. "You do realize she gets to go to the Jem-nasium anytime she wants?""I'm never talking to you again if those names don't stop".

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  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    No' is a magical word," he told her. "Here's how it goes. You say, 'Simon, I have an insane, suicidal plan. Would you like to help me carry it out?' And I say, "Why, no.

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  • Author Cassandra Clare
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    Let me ask you something,” Simon said. “Do you find me fascinating to be around?”“What was that?” Jace said. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue withwhatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.

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