I dreamt I was whole once. I flew above the world on wings of snow and sugar and everything was beautiful and I was flawless and perfect.When I woke my pillow was wet.

I assume you think by now that you would never do this. You tell yourself that I'm sick and you're well.We all have demons.Don't lie to yourself.

I assume you are waiting for a happy ending. You want the narrative to neatly turn to, "And then he realized what he was doing was just not wise, went to a good therapist, and now everything's better so let's go get a sweet."Life doesn't work that way.I don't die, though.

Please. Please love me. Please see who I am at my most wretched and love me. Please.