Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.

Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

Have you slept yet?''Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.''Didn't you drive there?''Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'- Charley & Cookie