Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.

Dave grimaced. 'Cheesecake for breakfast?''What's the problem? It's dairy and cereal. It's practically a bowl of cornflakes.

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat?

Dave gazed at Melanie like Professor Brian Cox eyeing up a particularly thought-provoking mountain range.

Being a grown up was rubbish, Dave decided.