If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance

When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

You don't get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.

My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.

Since I can't turn into a bat and fly, I'll still need my bus pass

I hate it when I go into a Snack Shack and they're out of Blue Ice. The other slushie flavors taste like cheap candy.

Remember, our kind protects you Normals from the Pures. We are the rope tied between man and super-beast. A rope forever dangling from the precipice. I tap Zetania's shoulder and ask, "What's a precipice?" "A cliff's edge," she whispers. Precipice. Must be a French word.

You can't do that, it makes too much sense.