Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.