I thought that was a really childish idea. So I did it.

When it started to climb between my legs, my balls and its claws only separated by a thin blanket, I sincerely considered throwing it (the cat, not my member) out of the window.

If that was the last event of the night, it would have made a terrible ending. It was just the beginning, though.

It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.)

I’ve always had a bit of a feminine aura, but I don’t mind. Russell Brand has one, too.

Obnoxiousness had covered up my insecurities.

My dick’s wisdom impeded my ability to have meaningless intercourse.

He had to witness how a ginger German with a v-neck that almost went as low as his navel drew all the attention to himself.

I, a half naked German, was about to be discovered by her cruel Viking dad in his own bedroom, having smudged his daughter just hours ago. Full of gratitude I contemplated that I would at least not die a virgin.