She could sit around listening to her heart breaking, or she could go watch a grown man piss himself. “How crossed are her eyes?” Dove asked. Duke gave her the shit-eating grin of victory. “So fucking crossed that she can see herself change her mind.

He stopped, finally, and smiled. “Honestly? With this thing I think I could get my jerk-off muscles so well-developed that I could rub out a spooge with one pump! If that’s not worth $19.95, I don’t know what is.

Here’s the deal. We go in, you stand there like the asshole you are, and I explain you aren’t gay lovers with the pharmacist. Sound good?” Dove clicked her blinker on and checked her side mirror. “All I heard was blah, blah, holding your dick later, blah, blah.” Duke rolled down his window and stuck his face into the night.

Get me your manager.” Dove held her head high and tried to seem older and more self-assured. The teenager barely registered her request. “Do it now. My friend here is about to crap his pants. Do you want to smell it?” Dove slapped her hands down on the counter, snapping the life into the girl. “Do you want to smell his shit?

Do you repel pants? Do they actually jump off you?” Dove cringed as she noticed his black socks. “Pants are afraid of my dick.

One of Duke’s very strict rules was to take his dick out any time a woman demanded it of him. He reached deep and put his favorite friend carefully on the fake wood. She turned and cringed. “Jesus, dicks are so fucking ugly. Why you think putting your grandmother’s jewelry on it will make it more fetching is beyond me.” Duke covered his dick’s ears and snarled back at Dove, “You’ll hurt his feelings.

You want to see what this is like? Then please don’t use your imagination. Use experience.

We forgot about the lotion. We needed to put on the lotion!” He looked panicked. “The quick-drying plaster was a poor choice.” Dove hunch-walked over to Duke, and he pulled on her boob bowls as she tried yanking on his crotch one. “Oh my God, we’re going to have to go to the ER or the hardware store to get this stuff drilled off us.

Are you leaving the rollers in on purpose?” He was concerned again. Dove bit her lip. Her womb wanted to hump his face.