21 Quotes by Derek Landy about witty
- Author Derek Landy
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Don't open the door to strangers," said her dad. "Unless they're selling something. Then open the door and see if I'd like it. If I'd like it, buy it for me. But nothing cheap. I have standards. Nothing too expensive, either. My standards aren't that high.
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- Author Derek Landy
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Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!
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Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!
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- Author Derek Landy
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Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.
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I... I don't, I don't think I can do this.""Do what?"It didn't answer."Do the tests?""I can't work with you when you're like this!" it blurted. "To every one of my specimens, I am the last thing they see! Terrror is what I am used to-- terror is what I like! I prefer my subjects to scream and beg, not ask to see results!""I'll scream my questions, if that helps.""It won't," it said sadly. "I'll know you're only trying to make me feel better.
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- Author Derek Landy
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I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."The traffic warden frowned. "Her?""Me," said Stephanie."Him?""Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her.""Me," said Stephanie."You?" said the traffic warden."Yes," said Stephanie. "I'm sorry, who are you?"Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it?
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- Author Derek Landy
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Valkyrie stood there and waited for her to start making sense."There is a vegetable-plant hybrid we've been working on, modifying the genes and receptors, mutating the proteins and acids so that they are, in effect, neurotransmitters. Our work on the synapses alone has been quite illuminating."Valkyrie stood there and waited for her to start making sense.
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- Author Derek Landy
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He things we think he's a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn't know we know he's a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really he's secretly working for them. Dexter, how's your brain?""Hurting.
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We're authors, too," Donegan said, "and we've been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where's Wally type thing, except in ours, you'd have to find the one living person hiding in among all the dismembered corpses while the chainsaw-wielding killer hunts him down. You know, for kids.""We're going to call is Save the Survivor," Gracious said.
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