Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.

Every American, to the last man, lays claim to a "sense" of humor and guards it as his most significant spiritual trait, yet rejects humor as a contaminating element wherever found. America is a nation of comics and comedians; nevertheless, humor has no stature and is accepted only after the death of the perpetrator.

I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.