Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.

I go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don't know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.