When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.

I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.