Fuck literature.

What are you doing now, you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gipsy obscenity? What are you doing?

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock."

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.