At first, we were all watching butterflies and chasing rainbows and seeking out moonbeams. Then something changed. The viper got hold of the rainbows and roared into life. The high-octane tea went to work. Everyone went crackers.

…they looked about as careful and as discreet as a troupe of Visigoths at an afternoon tea party.

Man, that boy was so evil, the devil threw him out of hell.

The only thing the Marquis does in moderation is moderation

Never wait for a woman to show interest. It is not her interest we seek, but her desire,” whispered Casanova. “Intrigue her, tantalize her, flatter her and let her know that she is the only one in the room that you truly want. Women want to be admired and desired above all others. Even if they refuse you, they will never forget you.

Now you might remember the professor on the television show Gilligan’s Island. A really smart guy. He powered the island, developed a coconut clock, installed a plumbing and water system. He just never got around to fixing the boat. Brian was effective in just the same way.

Pomposity plans your eviction just as your derriere is settling on to the finest of cushions.

The story of how I threw up over John Lennon’s Beatle boots is worth telling.

I regained consciousness after a big night at the Cock and Bull Inn, or it could’ve been The Weasel’s Way or The Badger’s Breath, who knows with these weird English pub names. Anyway, it was somewhere near The Pig and Whistle. Not far up from the Scotsman’s Kilt.