8 Quotes by Helen Fielding about humor
- Author Helen Fielding
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When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?
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- Author Helen Fielding
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It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
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- Author Helen Fielding
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A woman has her needs. What good is a mother to her poor children if she's suffering from low self-esteem and sexual frustration? If you don't get laid soon, you will literally close up. More importantly, you will shrivel. And you will become bitter.
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- Author Helen Fielding
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Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes...
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- Author Helen Fielding
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The skin around my eyes was becoming, even as I watched, a mass of wrinkles; chin and jowls were sagging, neck like a turkey, marionette lines rushing from my mouth to my chin in manner of Angela Merkel. As I stared I could almost seamy hair turning into a tight grey perm. It had finally happened. I was an old lady.
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- Author Helen Fielding
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I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.
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- Author Helen Fielding
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You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.
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- Author Helen Fielding
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Where is the tuna? Where? Where?
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