8 Quotes by Howard Mittelmark about funny


  • Author Howard Mittelmark
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    We have no way of knowing what words you are going to misuse, so we cannot offer you a list. What we can offer, though, is a test that you yourself can apply to any word, whenever you are in doubt.A Test: Do I Know This Word?Ask yourself: 'Do I know this word?'If the answer is no, then you do not know it.

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  • Author Howard Mittelmark
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    When the reader has stopped to wonder at your delamificatious vocabulary, or, worse, when the reader has stopped because the word you've used has no more meaning to him than a random ptliijnbvc of letters, the reader is not involved in your story. ... Generally, saying 'edifice' instead of 'building' doesn't tell your reader anything about the building; it tells the reader that you know that word edifice.

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  • Author Howard Mittelmark
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    Here is an appropriate use of the exclamation mark:The last thing he expected when the elevator door opened was the snarling tiger that leapt at him."Ahhhhh!"...In almost all situations that do not involve immediate physical danger or great surprise, you should think twice before using an exclamation mark. If you have thought twice and the exclamation mark is still there, think about it three times, or however many times it takes until you delete it.

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  • Author Howard Mittelmark
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    Any of the following crimes against fiction can prevent the publication of your novel. Committing several will prevent the publication of novels by anyone whose name is similar to yours, just in case.

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  • Author Howard Mittelmark
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    For mysterious reasons, many authors consider it useful to provide a story about a forty-year-old man-about-town with a prologue drawn from his life as a five-year-old boy. ... There's only one letter's difference between "yarn" and "yawn," and it is often a long letter, filled with childhood memories.

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