Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....