All I ever wanted to do is make people laugh.

Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.

The biggest laugh has to come at the end.

A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.