I was the best man at the wedding... If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

Men want to make women happy.

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.