I'm afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.

I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right.

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep growing. Before you know it, you look back and think, "What was that?"

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

Teaching someone that doesn't know something forces you to think about almost every single aspect of it, including parts of it that you could sort of take for granted.