You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

One: Don't play leapfrog with elephants.Two: Don't pet a tiger unless his tail is wagging.Three: Never, ever, mess with the Ladies Auxiliary.-Mayberry Rules for a Long, Happy Life

I was just teasing," I say. "I myself don't like to eat plain butter, but hey, it's a free world.

They follow meaningless, boring rules and live meaningless, boring lives."Ahh," I say. "Except for you, of course."That's right."Because you eat butter straight from the pan."She arches her eyebrows, like Hey, I call it like I see it.Whatever," I say. "I'm not going to eat Snoopy just to make a statement.

She informed me that in the future, I was not to throw out Starbucks customers just for being heartless bitches.