I know because I read. Might I suggest you try it?

What kind of person doesn't let you have gummi bears?

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin.

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.

Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody?" Adina scoffed. "Is she all, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't s ee your penis there'?"Tiara squealed and waved her hands. "Don't say that word!""What? Accidentally? Sorry? Penis?""Gah!" Tiara put her fingers in her ears."What about phallic?" Petra teased. "Like, 'Yon volcano is quite phallic, Lady Tiara.'" Tiara looked confused. "Phallic means penis-like," Petra explained."Ooh," Tiara said.

I understand we'll be attending your friend Miss Worthington's Christmas ball. Perhaps I'll find a suitable-- which is to say wealthy-- wife among the ladies attending."And perhaps they will run screaming for the convent.

Did everyone from your little Hans Christian Andersen village look the same?