Tequila--a sure cure for monogamy.

Sex is all right, but a hot fudge sundae don't never ask if the baby's really his.

Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.

Excrement happens.

You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.

Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen