Two things are infinite; a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.

The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.

Women make the world go round; men turn it upside down.

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.

Love turns men into boys; heartache turns boys into men.

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.