My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.