Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.