68 Quotes by Neil Gaiman about humor
- Author Neil Gaiman
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[Dream] I do not want a grape.[Desire] I could make you want one.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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Traveling through the Dragon's Den, it has just been explained that Haroun, the Ifrit, has been caught in a mirror trap. Here is the passage that follows:"So," said Silas. "Now there are only three of us.""And a pig," said Kandar [the mummy]"Why?" Asked Miss Lupescu, with a wolf-tongue, through wolf teeth. "Why the Pig?""It's lucky," said Kandar.Miss Lupescu growled, unconvinced."Did Haroun have a pig?" asked Kandar, simply.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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He was having more fun than a barrelful of monkeys.**Several years earlier Spider had actually been tremendously disappointed by a barrelful of monkeys. It had done nothing he had considered particularly entertaining, apart from emit interesting noises, and eventually, once the noises had stopped and the monkeys were no longer doing anything at all—except possibly on an organic level—had needed to be disposed of in the dead of night.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor [Karen Berger]. She told me, "There's no masturbation in the DC Universe." To which my reaction was, "Well, that explains a lot about the DC Universe.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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She had a face which was not so much freckled as one big freckle with occasional areas of skin.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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Right," said Fat Charlie conversationally. "You realize, of course, that this means war." It was the traditional war cry of a rabbit when pushed too far.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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Note for Americans and other aliens: Milton Keynes is a new city approximately halfway between London and Birmingham. It was built to be modern, efficient, healthy, and, all in all, a pleasant place to live. Many Britons find this amusing.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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It's Coraline, not Caroline. Coraline.' said Coraline.
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- Author Neil Gaiman
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Grahame Coats did not go for walks; he had people to do that for him.
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