They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!

It's incredible how much information can be stored on something so easily lost!!! My mind.

New from Ronco, the Zomb-Matic adjustable dead. Choose how much of uncle Willy comes back to eat you!!! People like it when they have some control over how quickly they are consumed by guilt, or a dead loved one...

A tale within a Tweet, how sweet!!

You should never try to jump start your car while taking a shower

If I were "Schrodinger's cat" I could be awake and asleep at the same time. Now wouldn't that be handy?

When you ask someone, "Can you see what I'm saying?"They reply, "Huh?"They are visually deaf and some adjustment may need to be made. Mother mother believed a good smack against the back of the skull helps. Unsure about that one!!

I don't know about 'smart' home!! I can't get mine to rollover...

I had a million things running through my mind the other day. Suddenly I realized I didn't know half of them!!