The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.

He’s so outta my league, we’re not even playing the same sport… He’s professional soccer in Europe and I’m intramural badminton in the States.

What exactly does that expression even mean? An ass that won’t quit? Think about the primary function of an ass—I’d think that’s the sort of thing you might want to quit.

In what way did your parents screw up to make you the woman you are today?

It’s like a meatloaf.

I asked my interior designer to give me something appropriate for defiling virgins.

I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.

It was simply a matter of asking him to remove the tie from his head before he made love to her.

I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.