They want to be something. They'll have real jobs. And money. I don't know what I want to be. I mostly trained myself to do well at school as an antidote to all the dark thoughts, the ones that said 'no one likes you very much' and 'you have nothing to show for your life except schoolwork'.

I will do arts, then maybe honours and a PhD (I am the kind of person who will just keep automatically doing the next study option until there are none left).

We were once a friendship group of three individuals – three equals, three devoted but platonic points of a triangle – and now we're a breathlessly in love couple (them) and a person who spends her Saturday night taking photos of the back of her head in a mirror so she can understand what it's like to see herself from behind (me).

I am an adult now (sort of, kind of, not really).

Normally I'm good with silence, but this feels like very pointed 'we are two people with nothing to say to each other' silence, which is the most stressful silence after 'I am mad at you' silence.