Heaven is a place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.

A cow's heaven is a flower's idea of hell.

Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief.

Getting life insurance is like making a bet you can't win. If you live, you don't get the money. If you die, you don't get to enjoy the money.