Have you heard of the 'Deaths of Despair' epidemic in rural America? The quality of life in Republican-run red states is so bad, rednecks are literally killing themselves because they'd rather be dead than live in a Republican state for another day.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Sin more! Otherwise Jesus died for nothing.

Why ban guns? Let's give everyone a rocket launcher! What could possibly go wrong?

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you're in prison.

Sex is like pizza: if you're going to use BBQ sauce, you better know what the fuck you're doing.

Rainbows are gay space lasers. That's why they're not straight.

Trump is so evil, the 7 deadly sins are his 7 favorite hobbies.

Coronavirus needs a better name. Something bad ass, like the Black Plague. I'm thinking Airborne Aids. Or Flying Herpes.