Look, Hell is taking over Richmond, and soon, Virginia, not long after, the U.S., and from there, maybe the world. So, get over it. Larry is not fake. He's a demon, plain and simple, but maybe you can't comprehend it. I know I couldn't at first. That means no more people checking out books, no more Christmas, cute fluffy kittens, no more anything good and right for humankind. Just demons, Hell, and the end of life as we know it.

A vortex opened not far from here and downtown Richmond is turning gray and I don't mean Confederate gray either. Richmond's new address is now a part of the Hell dimension. The whole world is doomed

This library is for humans only. I mean, non-human things can't get a library card issued to them.

Just as I made a turn into my driveway, a gigantic quadrilateral of swirling neon colors—reds, purples, and hot pinks—appeared out of nowhere right smack in the middle of the street. It created a gale that blasted the neighborhood. Trees uprooted and flew into it, along with a couple of cars, a bicycle, and one yodeling cat.

I felt small and insignificant, a frightened Red Riding Hood cowering before the big bad wolf. Thoughts of 'But Wolf, what a tall body you have! How tall are you?' flitted through my mind, with the rejoinder being 'The better to snap off your head, my dear.

He's seen Larry. This won't be good.

At age thirty-three my life was boring. Then the vortex opened.

I guess. I don't look at my calendar to check if it's that time of the month. You know, is it a full moon, or is it a waxing crescent?

Now it looked like I would become Purina monster chow for some demonic creature and the world would be destroyed. My life sucked. I'd give anything to have my boring old existence back.