9 Quotes by Penny Reid about humor

  • Author Penny Reid
  • Quote

    This is just your penis having the feels for my vagina. Your penis is making prank calls! and every single time your penis makes a prank call, my vagina answers the phone. And then you hang up. Or your penis claims wrong number or misdial or no hablo Ingles. It's infuriating, and it's called genital call me maybe.

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  • Author Penny Reid
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    I realized there was no way she could show all that skin and wear a bra. Unless there was some bra made of witchcraft and the invisible wings of fairies that I didn't know about.

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  • Author Penny Reid
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    What's his full name again?" Seamus was rubbing his chin.Dan hesitated, glancing at me and then away. "Bark Wahlberg," he grumbled.

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  • Author Penny Reid
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    But still, big fucking kaboom. The earth shook, the angels sang, the heavens opened. St. Pete tossed me a high-five. He might’ve winked—dirty old bird—and I might’ve also forgotten my name.

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  • Author Penny Reid
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    Give me a small intimate gathering of five people, a dinner party, where one-on-one conversations can be had, where people talk about current events, good books, good food, and weird news. That was my idea of a good time.

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  • Author Penny Reid
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    And why did men insist on buying the largest size? Didn’t they understand the concept of sizes? Did they think buying a magnum sized condom was going to fool me into thinking their Toyota Camery was an aircraft carrier?

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  • Author Penny Reid
  • Quote

    Him—waiting for me to behave like a normal human being. Me—waiting for him to evaporate and this nightmare to disappear.

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