She told me later that her parents had told her to steer clear of me at school. "My mum said that nobody really knew where you came from. And that you might be dangerous." "Why didn't you listen to her?" I asked. "Because nobody knew where you came from, Simon! And you might be dangerous!" "You have the worst survival instincts." "Also, I felt sorry for you," she said. "You were holding your wand backwards.

My dad loves marriage rites. Any sort of family magic, actually. He and my mother are bound together in five dimensions.’‘That’s lovely,’ Baz says, and I’m terrified because I think he means it.

A little manic was okay. A little manic paid the bills and got him up in the morning, made him magic when he needed it most.

The goblins have been after me ever since I helped the Coven drive them out of Essex. (They were gobbling up drunk people in club bathrooms, and the Mage was worried about losing regional slang.) I think the goblin who successfully offs me gets to be king.

Magic fucking phone.