The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.