Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows.

I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat.

I've got such effeminate hands. I could never be strong. Whenever I even got to a save, my fingers would just bend back and the ball would hit me in the face.

Xavier would be such a great burger. He's all covered in spread...

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it...

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit.

There was one rumor that I saw in a magazine saying I was pregnant. I thought that was brilliant and it still crops up now. But it's definitely not true. I can promise you that.

I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back.

I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.