I love you like the devil loves his pitchfork. I love you like the angel loves his wings. I love you from here to heaven, through hell and back again.

His lips reached mine and enveloped them, soft as velvet and yet unyielding.

His silent, stony face was only inches away now. He was so near, so terribly near – and then he moved to close the last bit of distance.

And worse, far worse – he wasn't just kissing me. He was making me like it! And he was somehow, by some nefarious chauvinistic manly trick managing to make me kiss him back!