I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.